35 Things I’ve Learned About Babies

June 5, 2017

In the past year I’ve learned about babies not less than pediatricians in their first years of studies. Raising them is challenging, but it’s also fun. Trust me, I know – I have three on my hands. And even if I don’t have a master degree in parenting, there are things that I know for sure. Here’s what I have learned about babies.

1. Babies are not so fragile as we think. You won’t break her arms trying to put on a t-shirt.

2. It’s true – they grow up way too quickly.

3. Enjoy every “trick” they do. You can never know when it will be their last performance.

4. Silence is golden… unless you have a toddler. In that case silence is very, very suspicious.

5. Their nails are sharp, but teeth are sharper.

6. Speaking of nails, they grow at an alarmingly fast rate.

7. One day you wake up and realize that everything in your house has a potential danger for your baby. Actually, it’s not that bad.

8. I’ve asked the question, “What’s in your mouth?” more times in the past year than in my entire life.

9. The dishwasher is one of the most entertaining baby toys on the planet. Especially the knifes in it.

10. Speaking of toys, babies completely don’t care about fancy wooden or handmade toys. Garbage and everything dangerous is more fun.

11. Baby wipes… I have no idea how I ever lived my life without a stash of baby wipes on hand.

12. It’s important to let them be independent even at so early age. This way they can learn to play by themselves, and you can have more time to enjoy your morning coffee.

13. Babies are masters in manipulation. Don’t let them fool you.

14. There’s a difference between “I’m hurt” and “I want to think I’m hurt” cries.

15. Sometimes they may cry for no reason. Actually, most of times there is one, you just have to learn to read their cries.

16. Everything you eat is theirs. Don’t even bother with separate plates.

17. According to babies, body creams and everything that is in tubes are the most delicious delicacy.

18. You immediately regret it after yelling at your child.

19. The word “bittersweet” was created to describe the feelings that parents have when their baby turns one.

20. Photos are great. Videos are even better.

21. Sometimes cartoons are your best friends. Pre-kids we used to judge parents who let their kids watch cartoons while out to eat. I apologize for this.

22. Strangers like to touch your babies. Learn to say no before your child wakes up with a random disease. True story!

23. Speaking of the word “no”, babies like to test their limits after hearing it. Have you heard of “Never say no to Panda”? Watch the videos on YouTube and you will understand what I’m talking about.

24. Time with baby number two flies faster than with baby number one.

25. Almost every baby has a special toy they can’t sleep without. As soon as you discover which one it is, run to the shop to buy a duplicate.

26. Babies LOVE to hide important things, especially in a trash bin. This is the reason why I only use speaker to talk on phone.

27. Burps… I should write a separate article.

28. It’s better to let a baby press the elevator button first.

29. Putting your baby down for a nap makes the doorbell ring.

30. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. Just when I think “I’ve got this,” my kids prove me so wrong. “Hey, mama! You thought you potty-trained me and you already posted about it on Facebook? Bahahahaha!

31. Sleep solves everything. For everyone.

32. Babies can’t talk, but they can communicate. It’s important to learn to understand their language of babbles and signs.

33. Good routine is the key.

34. Not a random lady in a grocery store, not your parents, and not even Google knows your babies better than you do.

35. I’ve learned that I actually know very little about parenting, but to my kids it’s not that’s important.

1 Comment

  • Reply MaryNicknames June 6, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    A great collection of details to help parents realise they know more than they think about helping their kids growing up and parenting 🙂 Also, great for soon-to-be-first-mamas… And as usual, so funny to read! You can’t help but smile at some of them, LOL!

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