Don’t Worry, Be Happy: What Parenting Books Won’t Teach You

December 4, 2018
be happy

Taking care of three rebellious and very opinionated toddlers is never easy. So what ever parenting choices we make, we think about how to ease our already stressful life first. I already wrote somewhere that unlike other parents, I think about myself first to be able to be my best self for others. It’s the same old story about the oxygen masks on planes, remember? In order to save your kid, you must put the mask on you first. Same in parenting, actually. Just sometimes there is a higher chance of surviving in a plane crash, than get through one day with toddlers alive, jk… maybe. So let me tell you something that you won’t read in parenting books.

You see, with one kid you can afford to make homemade vegan cookies, buy pretty white outfits and fancy wooden toys. It’s even possible to keep the house relatively clean. But even that’s not an easy task. That’s what I did for one year with Anya, before Luna and Mia were born. You should see her collection of overpriced pajamas. I tried so hard to impress others (because kids don’t care about everything fancy and shiny floors) that I forgot about my own happiness and well being. I couldn’t fully enjoy her babyhood and my twin pregnancy. Luckily for us, when Mia and Luna were born, I learned the most important lesson – you simply can’t have it all, so it’s better to let things go and enjoy your life the way it is.

It’s hard to learn this lesson with only one child in family because you still have energy and enough nerve cells to focus too much. With two or more kids, you learn to let go and stop trying to keep everything “perfect” and under control. Not like you have a choice, anyway. One day you just stop to stress out every time your little ones fall, you let them run around naked, climb on the table, and do other crazy stuff that would give overprotective parents a heart attack. Well, at least that’s what happened to me, for my own sake. I understood that what matters the most is them having a memorable childhood, and that my fears can take it away from them. Moreover, I understood that the same damn fears stop me from being happy.

I’m nobody to give you any advice on parenting but if you’re still reading this – let them be! Let them discover! Let them fall! Your kisses will take away the boo-boos in seconds, anyway. Besides, washing liquids are not that expensive.

Don’t be afraid to be a little bit easygoing, and when things get out of control, instead of stressing out about something that you simply cannot change, laugh! Laugh at yourself, at situation, whatever it is, laugh at life itself! They don’t spit drinks on purpose and for sure they don’t do mess to upset you. They’re just enjoying life in the most innocent way. Try to do the same, together! Because even when it’s hard as hell, you have two options. You can let anger and frustration take over. Or you can learn that jumping in puddles under the rain is exactly as fun as it seems. It’s not always easy, and it won’t work out every time. But at least try to be happy! I guess parenting books don’t teach that.

4 Comments

  • Reply Amna December 4, 2018 at 1:59 pm

    So well written and absolutely true! I was the helicopter mom when I had only one, but as you said I don’t have the energy nor the desire to be as controlling after my second. I guess we also evolve as parents and better understand how to look after our children ☺️

    • Reply Jolanta December 4, 2018 at 2:03 pm

      Totally agree! With time we become more confident as parents and are able to cope with everything in a different, much easier way. Thank you for your comment

  • Reply Luka December 16, 2018 at 7:45 pm

    I really enjoy the honest stories of you and your family since almost a year now and also tell other mom-friends about you and your crazy life with three toddlers and show them your pictures. Who would have thought that life has the same plan for me in mind.
    My babygirl is now 15 months old and since 2 months we know we’re expecting twins as well (may/june 2019). Until then I’ll soak up every word you write about good life with twins and three kids and hopefully I will remember this during the sleepless nights and looooong days next year. Just wanted to tell you that I really like your style, it’s not easy to ‘stand out’ as a blogging/ig-mom these days but you definitely nail it. Love! Luka from Amsterdam

    • Reply Jolanta December 16, 2018 at 10:45 pm

      Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!! Wishing you all the best for 2019! What a year it will be for you

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